


Restless

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Cold, Death, Emotional Hurt, Freezing, Friendship, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Major character death - Freeform, Mourning, One-Shot, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28498335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Philza searches the forest for Wilbur. He finds him. But...
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Restless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sony_means_gold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sony_means_gold/gifts).



> Hello! This was written as a request, for the lovely sony_means_gold. (: 
> 
> Warning: There is descriptions of a corpse. Nothing too detailed, but it's there nonetheless.

“Wilbur!” yelled Philza into the darkness and cold. “Will! Are you there?” The snowy wind whipped at his face and chest. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried not to shiver. 

“My boy!” he called out again. It was getting harder to walk forward as the snow began to pile up to his knees. His legs sunk deeply with each step he took and at many moments he almost stumbled and fell. 

_Oh god, my son. It’s too cold out here. He won’t make the night. If I can’t find him-_ he snapped himself out of his thoughts. _No! I will find him. I have to find him!_

“WILL!” he screamed. “Where are you?” The snow came down harder. He could barely see. He forced himself to keep moving forward. He searched through the trees, hoping the boy took shelter in one of them. He called his name again and again, and each time there was no reply, his heart sunk further into the depths of his chest. His stomach sank and twisted. He wanted to vomit and didn’t know if it was from the cold or from the horrifying realization that he was failing. 

“Will!” this time it was a plea. But it was cut short when Phil tried to take a step forward and fell flat on his face. He had tripped over something at the base of a tree. It felt human. 

He looked down at the frozen face of his son. The lips were blue with frostbite and the skin was distorted and puffy- a result of the water inside of his cells freezing and expanding. The body was almost beyond recognition but Phil still knew it was him. He crawled over to the boy. 

“Wilbur…” 

There was no response. 

Phil silently took the lifeless form into his arms and sobbed. He held the boy and rocked him. “My son, my boy, my boy, I’m sorry. Please, I’m so sorry. My son, My son.” He held him tightly to his chest and could feel only coldness where there should have been warmth. Stillness where there should have been the steady movement of breathing. An echoing silence where there should have been the rhythmic beat of a heart. It was all gone.

Phil felt only loss. Some estranged part of his mind told him he would soon join the boy unless he took shelter somewhere. He ignored it. 

“I wish I could have gotten here sooner. I wish that with everything in me. I wish this weren’t true. I beg of the universe to bring you back from the unfathomable depths that you’ve sunk into. Come back. Come back, my son. Come back up for air.” Again, there was no response. 

A sudden bout of sanity fell over Phil. He stood with the body in his arms. It was heavy, and it took a lot of his remaining strength to carry the unwieldy being. He refused to let go, though. _Techno’s house isn’t far from here. I’ll take the boy there. I’ll get shelter._ Tears froze on his face. _Maybe he’s not really gone. Maybe I’m confused. The frost must have gotten to my brain and caused me to hallucinate. I’m really carrying the body of a deer or zombie or something. Maybe Wilbur is already at Techno’s house, alive and well. I’ll go there._

He walked for an hour in the freezing cold. The elements battered at his weakened body and mind. He staggered more with each step until he found himself about to fall. But he refused to lose his balance, reorienting himself and taking a deep heave of air. Wilbur’s brown hair scratched at the underside of his chin. He thought about it painfully. 

After what felt like an eternity the man saw a warm light in the distance. It’s faint glow came from a wood cabin that Phil knew to be Techno’s. He felt the urge to set the boy down and run with him to the cabin. They would warm themselves by the fire and laugh and talk. Techno would make them both hot chocolate and grumble about how they showed up invited, but in the end he wouldn’t really be upset. He would just be happy to have company. He couldn’t set the boy down, though. Because he wouldn’t run with him. He wouldn’t run… 

Phil pushed the thought down. The cabin was a few feet away now. He climbed up a set of wooden stairs and threw open the door with one hand. A blast of warm air hit him in the face and he heard a man stand up quickly. 

“Phil?” Techno said, setting down a book. “What are you doing h-” He stopped when he saw the body in his arms. 

_So it’s true,_ Phil thought with horror. “My son is dead,” was all he said. Techno rushed over and helped him carry Wilbur. 

“In here,” said Techno, and the two of them took the boy into a spare bedroom. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a while. They laid him on the bed. For the first time since he found the boy Philza got a good look at him. His face was distorted and ugly, skin peeling and withered, body pale or blue and swollen. He couldn’t bear to see it. He looked away with a choke.

He began to sob again; not able to face Wilbur, not able to turn away completely either. Techno said nothing, but he took off his reading glasses and slipped them in his pocket. Then he folded his hands in front of him- a sort of silent respect. Tilted his head down in a gesture of mourning. Thoughts swam behind his eyes, all unspoken, all deep and full. He shared in Philza’s suffering as best as he could. He grieved with him. 

But there is no pain paralleled to a parent losing their child. No greater agony. Nothing worse. Techno could never fully understand what Phil was going through in that moment. It was suffering like none other. In that moment there was no future for the man, and the past became irrelevant. There was only the nerve-wrecking sensation of loss and failure. Phil’s muscles gave out and he collapsed to the floor in a kneel. 

“It’s my fault!” he cried out brokenly. “My fault! I should’ve gotten there in time. I should have saved him. He should be alive.” He wrapped his arms around himself and found he was shaking slightly. “My boy, I’m so sorry. Oh, Wilbur. Oh…” 

Techno knelt beside him and put a hand on his back. “It can’t be your fault,” he reassured, even though he had no idea what happened. “This isn’t on you. I know you, Phil. I know you did everything in your power to save him.” 

Phil just shook his head and cried. Techno had no idea what to do. He decided to just let the man grieve, which was probably best. 

They stayed there knelt beside the body for who knows how long. Phil’s sobs had dissolved into a sort of resigned crying. Tears steadily streamed down his face. Techno was starting to worry he was going to become severely dehydrated, and stood to get him a glass of water, when suddenly a _BOOM,_ came from outside, accompanied by a flash of light. They both looked up.

 _Must be lightning,_ thought Techno. “That’s strange. We don’t usually get storms up here.” 

Phil said nothing. 

“It’s going to be okay, Phil. Just hang in there,” said Techno. 

“Liar,” came the bitter response. Techno forgave it immediately, given the circumstances. 

“Phil!” came a voice from outside. They both looked up, startled. 

“Did you hear that?” asked Phil. _I’ve gone insane._

“Yeah, I heard it too.” 

“Phil! Are you in there?” came the voice again. Phil crumpled in on himself and put a hand to his heart. Techno rushed to comfort him again, this time rubbing soothing circles on the man’s back and making lots of shushing noises. He was afraid the older man was going to have a stroke. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he cooed. “Just take deep breaths. In and out. Don’t think. It’s alright.” 

“Techno,” he began hoarsely. “That- That sounded like.” 

“I know who it sounded like. But it’s not. It can’t be.” He said firmly. “Just breathe, it's okay.”

“Phil~” the voice tittered. It sounded playful and young. “Phil! Are you in there?” 

Phil felt his face go numb. Techno had to do something or the man was gonna have a heart attack. 

“It’s Tommy!” he lied. “It must be Tommy. I’ll go check now-” he hurried out the door.

“Don’t leave me!” yelped Phil, but it was too late. He sat on the floor and tried to calm himself as he heard the front door creak open and Techno’s footsteps thud on the front porch. _This is a nightmare. I’m going to wake up and my son will be alive. He’ll be alive._

Techno stepped into the frigid winter air. “Who’s there?” he called. There was nothing for a moment. Then, “Techno! It’s so good to see you my friend. Where’s Philza?” asked a cheerful voice. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. Techno whirled around, trying to find the source of the noise. 

“Show yourself!” he responded. 

Wilbur obliged, stepping out from nothingness into the space in front of Techno. He jumped back in surprise. 

“Hello, Techno!” He greeted the man with a smile. “You’re looking lovely.”

“You must go away,” said the man. He tried not to wonder about the entity before him. “You are going to give your old man a stroke or a heart attack, or you’ll kill him with shock. He’ll be hurt. You don’t want that, do you?” He prayed the ghost didn’t want that. 

“Of course not!” the voice said. It was coming from Wilbur but his lips did not move. “I care about my dad. I just want to see him again!” He moved forward, as if to enter the house. Techno blocked his path.

“No!” shouted the man. “It’ll kill him if he sees you. You have to go away!” In a stroke of boldness he swung out his hands toward the ghost. It had no effect. 

“Go away?” asked Wilbur. He seemed to ponder it for a moment. “I will go away. And come back later!” He said it happily. “Goodbye, Technoblade!” And he was gone. 

Techno stayed in the doorway as his breathing came heavy and quick. _No time for a meltdown,_ he mentally reprimanded himself. _Phil needs me. I have to go back in._

He walked back inside the house and closed the door behind him. Phil was sitting in front of the fireplace. He managed to leave the room with Wilbur’s body and crouch in front of the couch. The man’s expression revealed nothing. 

“Phil,” said Blade. _He must have heard everything._

“Did you talk to my son?” he murmured. It was barely audible. 

“Your son is dead.”

“Ah, I know. But that isn’t what I asked, is it?” Phil turned to him, looking him in the eyes. “I need to know if I’m crazy, Techno. Did you talk to my son?” 

The man held his breath for a very long second. He saw no way out of this. “Yes,” he admitted with great effort. He hoped Phil would keep his sanity. 

The blond man turned back to the fire. He put his hands out in front of it, as if to warm them. 

Phil reached in. 

Techno dived down to stop him. Phil struggled as the man wrapped his arms and legs around him, pinning him down. 

“You’ve got to keep it together, Phil. You can’t lose it now. You have to keep it together.” 

“Lose it? I’ve already lost it. My son’s soul is unsatisfied with death. His business is unfinished. He haunts me now. He haunts me for my failure-”

“You don’t know that! You don’t know that at all!” Techno said, as he shifted his weight to better restrain the man. “He didn’t want to hurt you! I told him that going inside the house would hurt you, and he left!”

“He said he’d come back later.” 

“That isn’t the point! He didn’t want to hurt yo- STOP FIGHTING ME!” The shout was intimidating and Phil stopped moving. “KEEP. IT. TOGETHER,” commanded Techno. 

Phil pondered the words like it was a choice he had to make. The two of them stayed entangled on the floor long after Phil stopped trying to escape the other man’s grip. 

Finally he said something. “I’m…” his voice broke. “I’m together. I’m not gonna lose it.” The tone of his voice suggested that he was only doing so because Techno told him too. It was like a child agreeing to do their homework, even though they saw no real reason to do it. It didn’t exactly fill Techno with confidence. 

“You’re okay,” he said to the man. 

“I’m okay,” Phil repeated. 

“Things are gonna be okay, you hear me? Morning will come, and we’ll bury your son. We will bury him in the flower field down south. He will rest.” Techno reassured. 

“He is restless.” 

“That’s fine too. Let him be restless. You’ve done all you can. You’ve done everything right. I’m sure he knows it.” The words were confident and collected- polar opposite to how the man felt. But apparently it was enough to convince Phil.

“I’ve done all I can…” he trailed off. 

“You’ve done all you can,” The man confirmed. 

Slowly, Techno let Philza sit up. He kept shooting worried glances at the older man, and either they went unnoticed or Phil just didn’t care. In any case, Techno kept one of his hands on the other man’s sleeves, pulling gently, as if he was tethering him to the earth. 

Phil said nothing the rest of the night and fell asleep in front of the fire. Techno wrapped a blanket around him and slept next to him, keeping his grip on the sleeve the whole night.

\---

The next morning it was a lot warmer. Much of the snow had melted into the ground, but it was still too cold to dig anywhere. They would only be met with frozen earth that was hard as steel.

Techno and Phil took Wilbur’s body to L’Manberg. It was warmer there, and they already had a cemetery. Even though Techno was banned he figured under the circumstances nobody was going to try to turn him in. Sure it was risky, but it was a risk he was willing to take. For Phil. 

Dream greeted him at the gates. The two men explained the situation, and they were allowed inside. They held a funeral and it was quite beautiful. Almost everyone showed up. There were blue flowers everywhere. 

Phil cried a lot but he wasn’t alone. Much of L’Manberg grieved the loss of the boy. Even though…

Wilbur wasn’t truly gone. His ghost appeared often, always with blue. The first couple of times Phil ignored it- but after a while he became used to the appearances and greeted his son warmly. They spent time together like a family. Wilbur was never really himself, more of a cheerful and distant shadow of himself, but it was okay. Phil just accepted it. Once he asked Wilbur why his ghost didn’t cross over. 

“I’m meant to be in L’Manberg a bit longer. I have to make peace,” he said. “Plus, I would miss you all too much!” He handed Phil some more blue. The man smiled. 

Phil wasn’t the only person to ever see Wilbur. He was around a lot, always kind and always ready to hand out blue. He sat with Tommy by the river. He talked to him as the boy fished and swam. They laughed together. He gave Techno company on his lonely nights in exile. He said hello to Dream a lot, especially when the man was stressed and scared. Wilbur came to be a comforting sight. He spoke to Tubbo and Eret. He made a little sheep friend. He was always around. Never quite the same man as when he was alive, but it didn’t really matter. 

It was okay. 

Phil found peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Leave a comment if you'd like to. <3


End file.
